You and the other parent once agreed that you would see your child on certain days. Now the other parent says the child is busy, the child does not want to go, or simply stops replying. You wonder what the agreement is worth, whether you can go to the police, and whether you should wait or go to court.
This guide answers one question only: contact that was agreed but is not happening. The rules on maintenance are in the guide on child maintenance and parental authority. The wider picture of divorce and marital property is in the guide to divorce, property and custody, and if the other parent is a foreign national, see the guide to divorcing a foreigner in Thailand.
Short answer
Agreements about contact do not all carry the same weight. A private agreement is evidence. A record made at the divorce carries more weight. But what actually moves things forward is a court order or judgment. In most cases the right route is not to collect the child yourself. It is to keep a continuous record, try to negotiate or mediate, and then ask the Juvenile and Family Court to set the contact clearly.
Legal basis. Under Section 1566 of the Civil and Commercial Code, a minor is under the parental power of the parents. When the parents live apart, that power may sit with one of them by agreement or by court order. For a divorce by consent, Section 1520 requires the spouses to agree in writing which of them will exercise parental power over which child, and if they cannot agree, the court decides with the child's interests as the main consideration. Section 1584/1 gives a father or mother the right to contact their child as appropriate to the circumstances, regardless of who exercises parental power. Section 1521 lets the court change who exercises parental power where the legal grounds exist.
Our practical view. Family courts look at the child first. Telling the court "the other side broke the agreement" achieves less than showing how long the child has been out of touch with the other parent, how the child is, and how politely you tried to fix it. A tidy record with no insults helps you far more than dozens of angry messages.
Hypothetical. Thana and Arunee are a family in Khon Kaen. They divorced by consent at the Mueang Khon Kaen district office and agreed in writing that Phum, aged 7, lives with Arunee and that Thana sees him on the second and fourth Saturday of each month. Three months later Arunee begins to say Phum is unwell or has activities, and in two months Thana sees his son only once. Thana is angry enough to want to wait outside the school and collect him. We follow his case through this guide.
1. Does a parent who does not exercise parental power still have the right to see the child?
Yes. Section 1584/1 gives the right to contact the child to both the father and the mother, whoever holds parental power. "As appropriate to the circumstances" means looking at the child case by case: age, health, school timetable, distance and safety. A young child may need to start in small steps, and an older child may have views of their own, which the court may hear according to age and maturity.
Two points need to be understood correctly. First, a right to contact is not a right to take the child away whenever you like. Second, the parent who exercises parental power and looks after the child day to day cannot cut off the other parent's contact at will. A genuine reason, such as real serious illness or a risk to the child's safety, should be backed by evidence.
2. Private agreement, divorce record, court order: what you can do when the other parent refuses
People often call everything "what we agreed", but these three kinds of document give very different results.
| Kind of arrangement | Status in short | What you can do when the other parent refuses |
|---|---|---|
| Private agreement (LINE, a sheet signed between yourselves, a message confirming the date) | Evidence of what was agreed; not a court order | Use it in negotiation and in your application; ask the court to set the contact. It cannot directly compel the child to be handed over |
| Agreement recorded in the divorce (the written record made with a divorce by consent under Section 1520) | A written agreement made by both parties at the divorce; carries more weight than a private agreement | Use it as the main evidence of what was agreed about the child; apply to the court to set the details of contact or to adjust them to new circumstances. If the record is written in broad terms, the court has to set days and times clearly |
| Court order or judgment (including a consent judgment) | A court's binding direction that states who exercises parental power and how contact takes place | Use it as the basis for asking the court to act on its order; take advice on which mechanism suits that child. If the other parent keeps disobeying, that may be a fact used to ask for the order to be adjusted or for a change of who exercises parental power under Section 1521 |
Remember that forcing a child to be handed over is a delicate matter. Family courts usually choose the approach that disturbs the child least first, for example setting a clear schedule, using a neutral handover point, or starting with contact in the presence of a neutral adult. Do not expect an officer to collect the child for you at once. How an order can be enforced depends on its exact wording, and has to be assessed case by case.
The different kinds of district office record are explained in the guide on child maintenance, in the section on district office records and court orders.
3. The other parent has broken the arrangement: what can the court do?
The Juvenile and Family Court has several levels of response, not just punish or do nothing. In the order we most often see:
- Set or adjust the contact schedule so that it is clear: days, times, handover place, holidays and school breaks.
- Set conditions for the child's safety where there is a serious concern, for example short visits at first or an adult present.
- Ask court officers to interview and report on the child's living situation and family, which the court may use in deciding.
- Change who exercises parental power under Section 1521 where the person exercising it behaves unsuitably or circumstances have changed, with the child's interests as the main consideration. The court uses this option carefully.
Do not expect two or three refused visits to make the court change who exercises parental power at once. The court looks at the whole picture: whether the conduct is continuing, whether there is an explanation worth hearing, and whether it is good for the child to stay with that parent. The result depends on the facts and on the court's judgment, and we cannot promise it in advance.
4. What not to do, and what to do instead
Anger is understandable, but some actions cost you both the child's trust and your case.
| Do not | Why | Do this instead |
|---|---|---|
| Collect the child from school or home without consent, or hide the child | The child is frightened and confused; the other parent can use it against you in court; other legal problems may follow | Send a polite message asking for a new date, keep a record, apply to the court |
| Stop paying maintenance in retaliation | Contact and maintenance are separate; stopping weakens your position and it is the child who suffers | Keep paying as agreed, keep proof of transfers, and use the court route for contact separately |
| Post about the other parent online, or tell the child the other parent is at fault | It may amount to defamation or a personal data problem; the child is pulled into the conflict; the court sees someone not putting the child first | Keep it with your lawyer and the court; speak about the other parent neutrally in front of the child |
| Look through the other parent's phone, online accounts or email for evidence | Unauthorised access may be an offence under the Computer Crime Act B.E. 2550 and breaches personal data law | Use only messages and material you received lawfully, and let the court order disclosure of what is needed |
| Send a flood of messages or threats | They become evidence against you | Send one short, polite message stating the date and time you ask for, then stop |
Where there is violence, threats, or the child is in danger, that is not a contact-agreement problem. Report it to the authorities at once.
5. The route that works: the Juvenile and Family Court and mediation
This sequence describes the general picture. Details vary by court and by case.
- Gather the starting documents: the divorce record or judgment, any private agreement, your requests for contact and the replies, and the record log in section 6.
- Send a polite letter or message asking to confirm the next contact date. Keep a copy. Sometimes a letter prepared by a lawyer brings the other parent back to the table.
- Try mediation. The Juvenile and Family Court has a mediation process and staff who help parents agree about their child, and out-of-court mediation is also possible. See our alternative dispute resolution practice. An agreement that works should be clear on days, times, handover place and how to give notice when something comes up.
- File an application or petition with the court to set or adjust contact, or, where an order already exists, to have it carried out. It is filed with the Juvenile and Family Court that has jurisdiction.
- During the case, the court may hear both sides, may have officers interview and report, and may hear the child's views according to age.
- After the order, follow the schedule on time and keep the record, because the order can be adjusted as the child grows or life changes.
If you are abroad or worried the child may be taken out of the country, see the guide to taking a child abroad.
6. A record that puts the child first: how to write it
A good record is short, dated and limited to facts. It has no insults, does not guess at the other parent's motives and does not use the child as a spy. It should also note how the child is, because the Juvenile and Family Court focuses on the child. Keep screenshots of your own messages. Do not let the child see or read the record.
Adapt this example.
Contact record (private, not to be shown to the child)
Child: Phum, aged 7
Date/time : Saturday 14 November B.E. 2569, 10.00
Agreed : second and fourth Saturday of each month (record with the divorce registration)
What I asked : message sent 8 Nov B.E. 2569 asking to collect at 10.00 at the house
What happened : arrived 9.55; reply received 9.40 saying the child was unwell.
No medical certificate or further detail; asked to phone the child, not allowed
Effect on child: do not know the real condition; no contact with the child this week
What I did next: sent a message asking for a make-up date, 21 Nov B.E. 2569, and asking to be told how he is
Evidence : 2 screenshots of messages (my own chat)
Visits missed since last month : 2
This record is not a document to send to anyone. It is there so that you and your lawyer have the full picture when the time comes to go to court.
7. Checklist before you see a lawyer or file in court
Documents on the agreement
- The divorce record or a copy of the judgment (if any)
- The private agreement or messages agreeing the contact days
- House registration and the child's birth certificate
Evidence of events
- A record log in the form in section 6, as far back as you can complete it
- Screenshots of the messages you sent and received
- Proof of maintenance paid as agreed (to show that you are meeting your own duties)
The child
- The child's school, timetable and activities
- Relevant health information
- A contact proposal you can really keep, with days, times and place
Your own conduct
- Do not post about this on social media
- Do not contact the child in a way that makes the child take sides
Further reading
- Child maintenance not being paid: what to do — maintenance, district office records versus court orders, and a parent who takes the child
- Divorce, marital property and custody — divorce by consent versus by judgment
- Divorcing a foreigner in Thailand — when the other parent is abroad or a foreign national
- Taking a child abroad: consent for travel, study and relocation — when you are worried about the child leaving the country
- What to agree in a prenuptial agreement — agreeing property in advance, separate from the children
Contact that was agreed moves forward with clear documents, a calm record and a court order that sets the days and times, not with taking the child.
We assist families with contact arrangements, applications asking the court to set or adjust contact, and mediation. For an initial consultation, call +66 92 254 2045 or send us the details. See also our family practice and alternative dispute resolution practice.
This guide is published by Suwanvara Law Firm — a Khon Kaen law firm established in 1986. General information only, not legal advice on a specific matter.
